Its December 18th 2009, and my last blog was on December 28th 2008. Well, thinking about it, I suppose its been quite a unique year; thats the best way to sum it up! This time last year I was preparing to receive a set of twins, celebrate them, breathe a sigh of relief and then continue to strive for World Domination. Life just has other plans for you doesn't it! 'Boro got relegated, my episode finally appeared on BBC Television much to everyone's surprise and most significantly of all, one of our twins was stillborn.
The death of Grace Amelia on January 8th has resonated through 2009, and as a result, true rational thought processing has been near impossible. Its not all doom and gloom though because Alice Lydia was born at 34 weeks strong, healthy and very beautiful. Big sister Lucy aged 3 (nearly 4), Alice and my wife Anne-Marie really have become my world. Everything else has been pushed into a distant second place; that's quite powerful seeing that written down in print!
To cut a long story short, the twins were born in the early hours of Thursday 8th January at 3.13am (Grace) and 3;15am (Alice) respectively. It was obvious that there were problems with Grace, when your wife is a Paedeatric Nurse, she understands the terminology around the operating table, and just knew! Having a beautiful baby like Alice to is after an intense tragedy like that was the greatest pick-me-up I could ever ask for - she was and is calm, unflustered and delightful!
At this point, I must add that I have since met many many people who have lost a baby, and in some cases more than one, and they had to leave the labour or maternity ward with nothing to cuddle, except those new baby clothes that were going to clothe their new arrival. I truly understand how devastating that now feels, I DID have a birth to celebrate, despite the despair of our loss; it was after all the straw that I held onto, tenuous as it may have been.
Then just as we were getting back to 'normality', Anne-Marie had a twinge in her stomach, and back into hospital we went - three times...with baby Alice in-tow! Eventually, she had her Gall Bladder removed, but we had to cancel Grace's funeral and notify huge numbers THREE times before laying Grace to rest. It was now March!
So, I officially resumed my Professional work in mid-March. I did perform at some engagements during the critical period, which was extremely therapeutic for my assimilation back into the super highway of normal everyday life. I owe huge thanks to the families of all those event organisers especially my brides and grooms - who still wanted a memorable day with me central to it, but displayed tremendous human understanding at such a monumental time for themselves.
Back in the groove in my regular working life, as a Pianist and a Piano Teacher, everyone was deeply affected by our experiences. I have been fascinated more by how people have side-stepped the subject of the twins by bringing up everything except the obvious, than those who have taken time out to acknowledge the episode in our lives; and its significance.
Easter came very quickly and with it the realisation that my beloved Cobblers were slipping into the relegation mire, Middlesbrough were there all season! Somehow they I believed that they would both just click into a nice fast gear and cruise out of trouble. That time never came! Even with my presence at St James Park for the big derby, I could not rouse them. Sadly both teams suffered the inevitable, both lost their managers too and both are STILL in trouble. I still have been nowhere near either the Riverside or Sixfields grounds to watch them; that will be put right during the coming weeks.
Work, work, work! Once I had sat down and really thought about what was happening and what I was going to do this year it was May! The telephone seemed not to be ringing quite as much as it did last year. Had I truly under-estimated how much preparation and strategic planning I normally did and missed out due the events of Jan, Feb and March. I brainstormed with many wise and informed personnel that work so hard behind the scenes of 'Team Lincoln'. My conclusions were and still are that this recession really is have a devastating effect on EVERYONE.
Provincially, I am still one of the busiest jobbing Pianists out there for lots of reasons, the main one of course is that I am better than the others! But I have never stopped examining the detail of every job I take, whether as a soloist, accompanist or with the trio. But, the way things are being done is changing, and as a result, apart from my own family dynamics changing, I am having to be flexible about what I really want and what I am prepared to do.
Sitting here sharing my innermost thoughts on this Blog and occasionally reading paragraphs back to Anne-Marie, we have concluded that despite the challenges we have faced, we are comfortable with being the people that we are, and things that we stand for. I am very proud of that!
I need to go and get the suits ready for a night at the Cartwright Hotel Restaurant and then a Concert tomorrow at St Lawrence's Church in Towcester where I will talk all round my generous face, play some tunes and have loads of fun with a live audience. Then some nonsense with my mate Billingham and our Duston mates then its feet up with a few cameos at 'The Dog & Gun' in Walton and New Year's Eve at the 'Boat Inn', Stoke Bruerne AGAIN (Same Money as the last 6 years! C'mon lads have a word!!!). Then I lie low till mid-January and sort the Cobblers and the 'Boro then its 2010 rolling on for real!
Happy Christmas and Have a great 2010!! Expect the unexpected and Celebrate whatever turns up, Life just isn't a dress rehearsal...
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